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Mar. 20th, 2011 09:32 pmGetting down to the wire...
Past couple days haven't been feeling phyiscally *to* bad. Still eh about when I have to eat an I still get the pain but I'm getting a routine-an Dad an the boys are actually pitching in and its kinda working. Michelle came an helped me pack some an kept me company/dragged me out of the house. An I'm managing to semi organize my thoughts...
Its pouring rain, at both houses. The new one it was storming-we get 40+mph winds there on a regular basis. I was the only one not really bothered walking around in it really, guess I'm not called "Storm" for nothing :P until it bulleted my aft with hail that is...
I'm starting to feel like I'm closing a page on my life, pushing myself so far I broke and I'm picking myself up to look at each little piece. I *can* let go of this house, an after packing some things-I think I'll have a day once we're moved and settled to actually mourn. Mourn mom, mourn the loss of the house, just...get it done and over with. Accept that I've got too much ahead of me to try an hold on. I found the candle I never could burn Jenny gave me, I live by the words on it best I can-its a memorial candle that turns into a vase once the wax burns.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
No real internet until verizon gets thier butts in gear means I'll probably be pushing the musical and art side further. I start vocal lessons soon actually, try to smooth the 'vibrato' out of some of the notes and widen my range some more. Hampton hotel liked me as a possible lounge piano player-if I get the vocals tuned it kinda looks alittle better.(thier like 5minutes from the house)
Art wise I'm hoping my creativity will return an I'll actually manage to put some effort into growing that when I'm not working with the horses. I finally got ahold of Robbie, he got caught up in his life he just didn't feel like talking. When I gave him the full low down he nearly started crying. The last message I'd left him had been me asking for company the day I was out of ER-not that he knew I just came out of ER. Theres just some things you want to try an explain in person. Sadly I didn't get that chance an I know he's going to worry now by how he sounded.
Trying to be optimistic, to take the few true happy moments I'm getting and holding onto them. I'm pretty socially exiled, and (those who I talk via AIM an MSN-don't panic about no internet. My phone is epic like that) I'm going to have to resettle myself into a still devolping rural area.
Last night was the most fun I've had in awhile.
Past couple days haven't been feeling phyiscally *to* bad. Still eh about when I have to eat an I still get the pain but I'm getting a routine-an Dad an the boys are actually pitching in and its kinda working. Michelle came an helped me pack some an kept me company/dragged me out of the house. An I'm managing to semi organize my thoughts...
Its pouring rain, at both houses. The new one it was storming-we get 40+mph winds there on a regular basis. I was the only one not really bothered walking around in it really, guess I'm not called "Storm" for nothing :P until it bulleted my aft with hail that is...
I'm starting to feel like I'm closing a page on my life, pushing myself so far I broke and I'm picking myself up to look at each little piece. I *can* let go of this house, an after packing some things-I think I'll have a day once we're moved and settled to actually mourn. Mourn mom, mourn the loss of the house, just...get it done and over with. Accept that I've got too much ahead of me to try an hold on. I found the candle I never could burn Jenny gave me, I live by the words on it best I can-its a memorial candle that turns into a vase once the wax burns.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
No real internet until verizon gets thier butts in gear means I'll probably be pushing the musical and art side further. I start vocal lessons soon actually, try to smooth the 'vibrato' out of some of the notes and widen my range some more. Hampton hotel liked me as a possible lounge piano player-if I get the vocals tuned it kinda looks alittle better.(thier like 5minutes from the house)
Art wise I'm hoping my creativity will return an I'll actually manage to put some effort into growing that when I'm not working with the horses. I finally got ahold of Robbie, he got caught up in his life he just didn't feel like talking. When I gave him the full low down he nearly started crying. The last message I'd left him had been me asking for company the day I was out of ER-not that he knew I just came out of ER. Theres just some things you want to try an explain in person. Sadly I didn't get that chance an I know he's going to worry now by how he sounded.
Trying to be optimistic, to take the few true happy moments I'm getting and holding onto them. I'm pretty socially exiled, and (those who I talk via AIM an MSN-don't panic about no internet. My phone is epic like that) I'm going to have to resettle myself into a still devolping rural area.
Last night was the most fun I've had in awhile.
