stormdracona (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stormdracona) wrote2004-09-28 05:51 pm
stormdracona) wrote2004-09-28 05:51 pm
~curls in ball~
I can't do anything right can I?
School no longer is fun at the moment. I'm depressed and now my friends are complaining because of it. I try to be happy, they get mad cuz it's fake. WTF do they want?! I try...
I do drawings, I try to earn money with them for myself. I do ONE for free(little kid) then everyone wants one...
One of my friends went in my purse(in my locker) took my money to buy more paper for drawing.Not suere who though.
Now I'm out of paper, so I can't do more car drawings. People are mad because I haven't been able to start their's. I've had to steal some school printer paper to get them off my back. They then complain 'it's not nice paper' Well what do they want?! >.< They forced me to do it for free with guilt trips.
Some say I owe THEM and they owe ME. I'm forgiving on lending money but I'm not a bank...EVERYONE comes to me with their problems when I only have known them for...3 weeks! >.<(I offer to those I know need it) problems like bullying. Going your big you can beat them up for me. Yet they say they'll listen and instead MOCK me because of my problems..
I am not a bloody person for hire, and trying to get me to hurt someone through guilt WON'T work. I can tolerate being used as a playful punch bag. But god when I'm not feeling well don't do it MORE just to get me upset!
If I snap at you, don't take it lightly. I say I will hurt you I WILL in some form even if I don't want too. Don't go " Bull$h!t you couldn't hurt anyone" then pester me to tears because I don't like to cause pain.
Don't attack what faithful friends I have for hanging out with me, thinking I'm a freak. I may be built different, I may have a lower voice then some guys. And I may be fat.
Don't hurt me or friends because of it.
I sit and write, you come and torture me. I tell a staff, you threaten me. THEN you all apologize when you hear from someone who's been there longer then you I can cause damage. DON'T raid my locker thinking 'because I SMELL like cigerates means I SMOKE' and don't keep going 'Yeah right' snickering when I answer I don't. That fricking hurts. I am not proud that smell lingers with my natural scent, and I am sorry I can't be like you want. Don't try and change me.
You all laugh because I get along so well with little kids, call me a 'fat mother' and calling me names I will not say here because I'm overweight and surronded by kids. You may say your 'joking' but it still hurts. Then when 'I' for once defend myself even playflly you get pissed and torture me all day. Damn you people. My 'friends' say they will defend me...I doubt it. I'm the cuddly person everyone can count on. The one you can joke about and not get killed, but sometimes ya'll go to far. WHO can [I] count on? Only some few friends and even then its bare.
I have to draw a bluejay, 6 cars, a doll, a horse, a cat and finish 3 mackromay braceletts and if I do one, one of the people waiting that isn't the one I'm working on complains. >.< I try so hard, I've done to many favors I get caught up and they all jump me. Then some lose drawings or braceletts(expensive to make) and they blame ME, demanding I make another for them. I have not that money. Or claim 'you made me one last year, this is NOW' dude that one chick I was nice, her total cuz she kept losing them..4! and they were thick ones(1 1/2 inch) takes alot of string. When I'm sick or if somehow you heard I'm having surgery and you KNOW I don't want people to know don't go screaming it across the school and INTERNET to strangers! Then laugh at me after you let me see what you have done.
Damnit!~cries~ THEN you go WTF when I become upset when someone goes 'Your having surgery?'
These are people from school, some of them are mad at me. In my state of mind that's dangerous. I cannot take people being mad at me. I KNOW I am a wuss on that account and often aim to please others before myself well actually thats all the time >.>. PLEASE people you know this DON'T take advantage. If I offer fine but don't see and go 'Oo!' then stalk me over the comp, phone and school to force me to do it for you. FOR FREE >.< I'm stopping my services, I get no allowence. I don't feel right asking my parents, who feed, give me clothes lets me have pets. To pay me to do stuff around the house. We can't afford that with an autistic child. Ya'll laugh[school*grrs*] at her and me. Calling her retarded calling me names for being protective.
Hell some even think I'm a mutant? So what I have freaky eyes that change color?! And if they're gold when you seem them why shoud it matter? (eyes always have gold in them or yellow no matter what other color gets thrown in)Or that I was SUPPOSED to be born on halloween? Damn you stupid people...-_O
This post is getting long, I'll stop ranting now -_-
I'm just going to work on HomeWork for today and tommorow cuz of dentist. TRY and finish drawings. get back on some calls then just keel over and sleep like theres no tommorow(screw the bracelet making for now, that women hit my bad knee today...and she just laughed at my cursing(I rarely curse)That hurt(physicaly) She'll get it later. She was just joking but gah the kneecap MOVES fool!
Nicer notes, some of the kids that were ready to die of terror from me actaully want me around now. n.n They hug me and stuffs. THOSE people I can draw for. The selfish B@$t@rds that keep pestering me..>:P
So yeah aways I go, and I was praying today would be nice. Thursday shouldn't be to bad. Several of my VERY protective friends caught wind(one nearly punched one of the others O.o;;) So they won't let anything go overly wrong, they know I'm depressed as it is.
School no longer is fun at the moment. I'm depressed and now my friends are complaining because of it. I try to be happy, they get mad cuz it's fake. WTF do they want?! I try...
I do drawings, I try to earn money with them for myself. I do ONE for free(little kid) then everyone wants one...
One of my friends went in my purse(in my locker) took my money to buy more paper for drawing.Not suere who though.
Now I'm out of paper, so I can't do more car drawings. People are mad because I haven't been able to start their's. I've had to steal some school printer paper to get them off my back. They then complain 'it's not nice paper' Well what do they want?! >.< They forced me to do it for free with guilt trips.
Some say I owe THEM and they owe ME. I'm forgiving on lending money but I'm not a bank...EVERYONE comes to me with their problems when I only have known them for...3 weeks! >.<(I offer to those I know need it) problems like bullying. Going your big you can beat them up for me. Yet they say they'll listen and instead MOCK me because of my problems..
I am not a bloody person for hire, and trying to get me to hurt someone through guilt WON'T work. I can tolerate being used as a playful punch bag. But god when I'm not feeling well don't do it MORE just to get me upset!
If I snap at you, don't take it lightly. I say I will hurt you I WILL in some form even if I don't want too. Don't go " Bull$h!t you couldn't hurt anyone" then pester me to tears because I don't like to cause pain.
Don't attack what faithful friends I have for hanging out with me, thinking I'm a freak. I may be built different, I may have a lower voice then some guys. And I may be fat.
Don't hurt me or friends because of it.
I sit and write, you come and torture me. I tell a staff, you threaten me. THEN you all apologize when you hear from someone who's been there longer then you I can cause damage. DON'T raid my locker thinking 'because I SMELL like cigerates means I SMOKE' and don't keep going 'Yeah right' snickering when I answer I don't. That fricking hurts. I am not proud that smell lingers with my natural scent, and I am sorry I can't be like you want. Don't try and change me.
You all laugh because I get along so well with little kids, call me a 'fat mother' and calling me names I will not say here because I'm overweight and surronded by kids. You may say your 'joking' but it still hurts. Then when 'I' for once defend myself even playflly you get pissed and torture me all day. Damn you people. My 'friends' say they will defend me...I doubt it. I'm the cuddly person everyone can count on. The one you can joke about and not get killed, but sometimes ya'll go to far. WHO can [I] count on? Only some few friends and even then its bare.
I have to draw a bluejay, 6 cars, a doll, a horse, a cat and finish 3 mackromay braceletts and if I do one, one of the people waiting that isn't the one I'm working on complains. >.< I try so hard, I've done to many favors I get caught up and they all jump me. Then some lose drawings or braceletts(expensive to make) and they blame ME, demanding I make another for them. I have not that money. Or claim 'you made me one last year, this is NOW' dude that one chick I was nice, her total cuz she kept losing them..4! and they were thick ones(1 1/2 inch) takes alot of string. When I'm sick or if somehow you heard I'm having surgery and you KNOW I don't want people to know don't go screaming it across the school and INTERNET to strangers! Then laugh at me after you let me see what you have done.
Damnit!~cries~ THEN you go WTF when I become upset when someone goes 'Your having surgery?'
These are people from school, some of them are mad at me. In my state of mind that's dangerous. I cannot take people being mad at me. I KNOW I am a wuss on that account and often aim to please others before myself well actually thats all the time >.>. PLEASE people you know this DON'T take advantage. If I offer fine but don't see and go 'Oo!' then stalk me over the comp, phone and school to force me to do it for you. FOR FREE >.< I'm stopping my services, I get no allowence. I don't feel right asking my parents, who feed, give me clothes lets me have pets. To pay me to do stuff around the house. We can't afford that with an autistic child. Ya'll laugh[school*grrs*] at her and me. Calling her retarded calling me names for being protective.
Hell some even think I'm a mutant? So what I have freaky eyes that change color?! And if they're gold when you seem them why shoud it matter? (eyes always have gold in them or yellow no matter what other color gets thrown in)Or that I was SUPPOSED to be born on halloween? Damn you stupid people...-_O
This post is getting long, I'll stop ranting now -_-
I'm just going to work on HomeWork for today and tommorow cuz of dentist. TRY and finish drawings. get back on some calls then just keel over and sleep like theres no tommorow(screw the bracelet making for now, that women hit my bad knee today...and she just laughed at my cursing(I rarely curse)That hurt(physicaly) She'll get it later. She was just joking but gah the kneecap MOVES fool!
Nicer notes, some of the kids that were ready to die of terror from me actaully want me around now. n.n They hug me and stuffs. THOSE people I can draw for. The selfish B@$t@rds that keep pestering me..>:P
So yeah aways I go, and I was praying today would be nice. Thursday shouldn't be to bad. Several of my VERY protective friends caught wind(one nearly punched one of the others O.o;;) So they won't let anything go overly wrong, they know I'm depressed as it is.